“Air Hostess”

Air Hostess, one of few novels that make me feel dry and cry. The novel is about a middle-class lady picking up profession of air hostess as a career. The author did a fantastic work in narrating the struggle behind those beautiful smiles. The lady in the novel led a struggle against regular middle class living. Her beauty has provoked a business person who caused her a trouble to get her in flesh. She was possibly proven lucky when another noted business person has submitted the feedback in her favor.

The lady is torn between the love of this young business tycoon and her maternal uncle who was been wished as her fiancé by her family. She has to face continuous pestering from other business person who is desperate to bed with her.

Not much was left to say but for the sorrow ending for the air hostess who perishes in act of sacrifice the flight when a terrorist plants a bomb. It was then the both business persons who are in same flight during the incident realize that they cannot equal her courage and are deeply felt her sacrifice. The gentleman who wanted her in flesh was shaken to see her as puddle of flesh and other was tearful to see her heart flown out of her body.

I have read this novel only once but have the feeling of being in the same flight.

Wonder I would have same praise for the author incase the character was successful with life out the flight. DEATH attracts ones’ attention!!

The Hooker and Hunger

Lady was wearing yellow sari and white blouse with fair malnourished skin & weary eyes. Lady has striking personality and was busy combing her hair. Often saw her begging alms at the bus-stand by which I carry back myself to home after my tutions. This is the time I was preparing for entrance exam that is major goal for my friends of class. My parents believe I should have same such goal. So I am striving hard to take it up.

That day she did something that made believe that is not living by alms alone. She quickly combed her hair and taken out a sari from her plastic bag that I believed to have her days’ earn. She went behind the bus shelter and emerged out like spark!! Lady is now not only looking beautiful but also looking fresh. What a make-over that dresses can bring on. She walked across the road where an man was waiting eagerly. I could hear their talk about two people waiting in a nearby lodge [Indian motel]. I realized that the man is a pimp and she is a prostitute.

Never in my life, I though I would see a prostitute. At that age [17 years] in India, even 1% of youth might have met a prostitute. My thoughts are disarrayed as the lady walked hurriedly into the busy street.

It has become my routine thereafter to see the lady taking whereabouts of her prospective customers from the man. I saw her clad in various colors of saris but she is always noted as yellow clad in my thoughts. Those weary eyes do haunt me. I was very scared to stand close by her while comes for her alms. Always kick myself that I could have given a rupee or two when she stopped being spotted again.

Later on, I have read that there are many such helpless women in and around who trade their flesh to fight hunger. My eyes water sometime for the lady in yellow sari. Those weary eyes always question me what is HUNGER? Why are we helpless and are defeated often by this demon?

Who Am I ?

In flesh and not one of five elements [Earth, Water, Fire, Wind, Sky] that I learnt of. Have no clue on the reason for my stand on this Earth or target to achieve to stop my tread. Breath, Feel and Sense built my belief on LIFE. But LIFE has always remained a mystery. I have felt DEATH is what causes LIFE but sometimes think DEATH is ultimate in LIFE.

As per Indian mythology, SOUL never ends journey. DEATH is a transition to next LIFE. But always puzzled why this SOUL do not carry anything over transition? Is that this SOUL is burdened with sins we commit and cleanse itself with DEATH? Or do little ones hold some memory of their previous lives. Smiles of new born during their sleep always make me puzzled. Perhaps they are rewinding some of their thoughts of their previous life. Otherwise what make them smile when they cannot even recognize their parents.

While I was child, I remember this dream which makes me believe that I hold some memories of previous life. In that dream, I see a group of three men walking in a cave, may be excavating archeologists, are attacked by ferocious mammal. All are surprised and one is killed before he realized the attack by animal. Never this dream extended beyond this point. I have never seen such thing in my real life. Never went into any cave as well. I believe that is my previous life. YES. The man killed by the animal is ME!!!

Never able to recollect the man’s face. Always wonder must gone through on man’s family.

My Intuitions

- is an attempt to obliterate the stalking feelings that has troubled my inner person for quite some time. Though I believe that am settled in my life and earned relaxing companions in my family, few of past thoughts keep haunting.

I have not dared to share these troubles to anyone but wanted to share over net anonymously for known reasons. As social being, YES I AM SCARED of stigma.

I wish, am the only troubled sole as such. Would be glad to see any similar experiences.